Baffling exchange with a former friend and peak white feminist that followed me posting my first autostraddle article (it's time for white feminists to stop talking about solidarity and start acting)

White girl: I am confused as to why you deleted me on facebook, all I did with disagree with your comment on intersectionlity in an attempt to understand it more. Despite being white and from a middle class background, I feel that I still have a right to call myself a feminist and I feel that your argument comes across as aggressive, antagonistic and somewhat counter-productive. I don't understand why you feel it necessary to write a blog post about my friends and I and remove us from facebook rather than engage in an open debate.
Me: I don't have to engage in debate if I don't want to. We disagree on things, that's cool, but I don't have to stay around people that will wilfully dismiss and belittle what I'm tryna say. I get that you don't think you did much wrong or whatever but I'm tired of having to even have to have such 'debates' with people. It's dull and frustrating and hurtful. If you really wanna understand my point of view I suggest that you read the works of people like Audre Lorde and bell hooks or this amazing blog http://www.gradientlair.com/ which literally has essays on any subject you care to think of with relation to race and feminism. xxx
White girl: No, the only reason that you don't want to debate your point is that you won't listen to any other points of view?! Also, I have read Bell Hooks so THANKS BBZ
Me: Reading clearly isn't the same as understanding
There is no room for 'points of view' in the framework of lived experience, unless those points of view come from
those whose oppression is being discussed. You wouldn't let a man tell you about being a woman so why is it so difficult to comprehend this?
I'm truly confused. You're a smart girl with a Uni education. This shouldn't be beyond you.
White girl: Could say the same to you. Perhaps you should actually look more into intersectional feminism because then you would see that preaching hate against white people is completely counter-productve.
Me: Firstly 'intersectional feminism' is BLACK feminism.
The term has been co opted and watered down into whatever bullshit hype you're on.
White girl: Don't patronise me please, this is to do with preaching hate and nothing to do with the "sisterhood" you claim to be part of. Why don't you actually aim to work alongside white women rather than argue with them? It strengthens the cause
Me: I work with white women who recognise when they need to accept that they're not always right. Which you clearly can't do. I want to work with white women but only those who see that my rallies against whiteness aren't personal attacks but a way of making ppl interrogate the ways that they perpetuate (often unknowingly) unfair systems of racial disparity
White girl: Please explain to me why you think that I can't do that? I am trying to understand your point but all your doing is telling me that I'm not as oppressed as you are, does that make my opinion less valuable than yours? In which case, which one of us is now the oppressor
Me: It makes your opinion less valuable on the subject of black feminism. Yes.And I'm not oppressing you by saying that. There is no system of oppression behind my words working to make you be less employable, more likely to go to prison, more likely to be sexually assaulted etcetera etcetera. Oppression isn't a word to be thrown around lightly
White girl: Oppression is oppression. Once you start claiming that one form of oppression is more important than another, you have lost the cause. Being raped as a white girl is the same as being raped as a black girl. Rape is rape regardless of colour, creed and gender. Likewise, how can you say that being catcalled on the street is any less oppressive than racial discrimination?I am genuinely interested in your opinions though but would like to have a proper discussion in debate scenario.


(via hyggehaven)


(via hyggehaven)


anxious-alarmist:

fun date idea: we both cancel 

true love!

(via diamondfordisease)


awww I found out today that the person who is our donor told some of their extended family about the bb, incl an 80 yr old aunt. She was happy and excited and knit the baby a sweater which is being sent home from europe amongst other euro baby things for us.

So cool to think of how many people and families are experiencing even a tiny bit of joy and excitement because of this little person we made together. yay queer baby making!

(For ppl who know who I’m referring to, that’s cool - we’re just asking for others to exercise some discretion and respect a bit of privacy and anonymity in public discussions so we can give this child a chance learn and shape their own story as time unfolds)…


hyggehaven:

scott-pilgrimage:

Just making sure you all know this photo exists

I’m bisexual, but in reality it’s more like “lesbian who makes exceptions for exceptional men.” Nick Offerman is one such man.

hyggehaven:

scott-pilgrimage:

Just making sure you all know this photo exists

I’m bisexual, but in reality it’s more like “lesbian who makes exceptions for exceptional men.” Nick Offerman is one such man.


(via peperechas)


onlylolgifs:

First person to buy an iPhone 6 in Perth immediately drops it

hahaha

onlylolgifs:

First person to buy an iPhone 6 in Perth immediately drops it

hahaha

(via restinpeacebooboo)


ban1977:

coelasquid:

trainhardbestrong:

hannahroad:

hannahroad:

hannahroad:

Miley: “Dad I have something for Tanners bug collection”

my uncle: “that’s great”

Miley: “it’s a bird”

my uncle: “no its not”

-chirping noise-

image

They let it go and it flew away just fine, so we’re wondering how she caught it.

update:

she caught another bird.

image

update: she caught a squirrel today

image

She is gonna rule the world one day with this power

She looks about the age to be a pokemon master.

My new hero

bird in a ziploc bag! omg