As my due date approaches I wish more and more that I could just crawl into a cave, do what I gotta do, and emerge a month or so from now ready to move on with things. Im SO sensitive, everyone is saying the wrong things, change and transition is hard as it is for me and this is gonna be a big one. Im already feeling like I don’t want anyone to ever see or touch my baby ever and Im crying all the time. Fun times!!


420-666:

aaliyah1979-2001:

sunsuhage:

the most comforting words a father can say

look at the fucking dog

I’m crying again

(via fakemeet)


wake-up-flaw-less:

I normally wouldn’t do something like this, but given the dismissive and disrespectful response we’ve received from the people responsible for producing and proliferating this offensive image for daring to speak out, I’m coming to you all for help.
The offensive image above was plastered across the halls of my law school and put on the internet as the cover photo as a joke to advertise a party. Given this nation’s history of using black women as props, mascots, and metaphors, women of all colors and those standing in solidarity with us were offended by this. Reasoned replies on the Facebook event explaining that the photo was offensive were deleted. Some who had their comments deleted were ignored. Others were sent dismissive and disrespectful responses explaining that the photo is “camp,” a joke, and bemoaned the fact that “we lost Joan Rivers too soon” because perhaps then we’d understand why this is apparently funny.
Because it was clear that honest and open critique would be silenced and ignored, myself and three other black queer/female students wrote an open letter outlining why the above image is racist and sexist and asking for an apology. Since posting the open letter, the people responsible for the image have not apologized, but have put up one response essentially reprimanding all of us who have voiced our opinions for daring to speak out in a way, tone, and forum of which they do not approve. Their response mischaracterized our critiques, were indicative of entitled and privileged thought, and were emblematic of the very issue our letter was meant to highlight and explain.
It is clear that those responsible for this image and for making the halls of my law school a hostile and alienating space will not apologize for or acknowledge their behavior until they are made to see that what they have done is offensive and not okay. 
Please help by reading the open letter, sharing it, and reblogging this post to help us make clear that this type of mascot-ing and mocking of women of color will not be tolerated.
I leave you with an excerpt from our letter:

…This is not just racist or sexist in a theoretical, these-kids-can’t-take-a-joke sense. These images, when controlled by the wrong people (here, racially unconscious white men) are harmful to those of us, particularly to black women, who enter the halls of Berkeley Law and other law schools fighting a nearly insurmountable presumption that we do not belong, lack merit, and are ignorant and incompetent. Now, images of bodies like ours and dance forms which first found life in the minds of our sisters, for which we have been defamed, ridiculed, called outside of our names, and punished for performing and merely being associated with, have been stolen, bastardized, and reduced to jokes and posted for the consumption of the privileged white heterosexual men walking the halls of an elite, top-ten law school. These are institutions which have been historically hostile to us, but which we (perhaps naively) hoped could be a site of our overcoming. It hurts. It is a slap in the face–a reminder that our presence is only desired in the symbolic form of props, mascots, and metaphors.

wake-up-flaw-less:

I normally wouldn’t do something like this, but given the dismissive and disrespectful response we’ve received from the people responsible for producing and proliferating this offensive image for daring to speak out, I’m coming to you all for help.

The offensive image above was plastered across the halls of my law school and put on the internet as the cover photo as a joke to advertise a party. Given this nation’s history of using black women as props, mascots, and metaphors, women of all colors and those standing in solidarity with us were offended by this. Reasoned replies on the Facebook event explaining that the photo was offensive were deleted. Some who had their comments deleted were ignored. Others were sent dismissive and disrespectful responses explaining that the photo is “camp,” a joke, and bemoaned the fact that “we lost Joan Rivers too soon” because perhaps then we’d understand why this is apparently funny.

Because it was clear that honest and open critique would be silenced and ignored, myself and three other black queer/female students wrote an open letter outlining why the above image is racist and sexist and asking for an apology. Since posting the open letter, the people responsible for the image have not apologized, but have put up one response essentially reprimanding all of us who have voiced our opinions for daring to speak out in a way, tone, and forum of which they do not approve. Their response mischaracterized our critiques, were indicative of entitled and privileged thought, and were emblematic of the very issue our letter was meant to highlight and explain.

It is clear that those responsible for this image and for making the halls of my law school a hostile and alienating space will not apologize for or acknowledge their behavior until they are made to see that what they have done is offensive and not okay. 

Please help by reading the open letter, sharing it, and reblogging this post to help us make clear that this type of mascot-ing and mocking of women of color will not be tolerated.

I leave you with an excerpt from our letter:

…This is not just racist or sexist in a theoretical, these-kids-can’t-take-a-joke sense. These images, when controlled by the wrong people (here, racially unconscious white men) are harmful to those of us, particularly to black women, who enter the halls of Berkeley Law and other law schools fighting a nearly insurmountable presumption that we do not belong, lack merit, and are ignorant and incompetent. Now, images of bodies like ours and dance forms which first found life in the minds of our sisters, for which we have been defamed, ridiculed, called outside of our names, and punished for performing and merely being associated with, have been stolen, bastardized, and reduced to jokes and posted for the consumption of the privileged white heterosexual men walking the halls of an elite, top-ten law school. These are institutions which have been historically hostile to us, but which we (perhaps naively) hoped could be a site of our overcoming. It hurts. It is a slap in the face–a reminder that our presence is only desired in the symbolic form of props, mascots, and metaphors.

(via sugarbooty)


(via peperechas)


Baffling exchange with a former friend and peak white feminist that followed me posting my first autostraddle article (it's time for white feminists to stop talking about solidarity and start acting)

White girl: I am confused as to why you deleted me on facebook, all I did with disagree with your comment on intersectionlity in an attempt to understand it more. Despite being white and from a middle class background, I feel that I still have a right to call myself a feminist and I feel that your argument comes across as aggressive, antagonistic and somewhat counter-productive. I don't understand why you feel it necessary to write a blog post about my friends and I and remove us from facebook rather than engage in an open debate.
Me: I don't have to engage in debate if I don't want to. We disagree on things, that's cool, but I don't have to stay around people that will wilfully dismiss and belittle what I'm tryna say. I get that you don't think you did much wrong or whatever but I'm tired of having to even have to have such 'debates' with people. It's dull and frustrating and hurtful. If you really wanna understand my point of view I suggest that you read the works of people like Audre Lorde and bell hooks or this amazing blog http://www.gradientlair.com/ which literally has essays on any subject you care to think of with relation to race and feminism. xxx
White girl: No, the only reason that you don't want to debate your point is that you won't listen to any other points of view?! Also, I have read Bell Hooks so THANKS BBZ
Me: Reading clearly isn't the same as understanding
There is no room for 'points of view' in the framework of lived experience, unless those points of view come from
those whose oppression is being discussed. You wouldn't let a man tell you about being a woman so why is it so difficult to comprehend this?
I'm truly confused. You're a smart girl with a Uni education. This shouldn't be beyond you.
White girl: Could say the same to you. Perhaps you should actually look more into intersectional feminism because then you would see that preaching hate against white people is completely counter-productve.
Me: Firstly 'intersectional feminism' is BLACK feminism.
The term has been co opted and watered down into whatever bullshit hype you're on.
White girl: Don't patronise me please, this is to do with preaching hate and nothing to do with the "sisterhood" you claim to be part of. Why don't you actually aim to work alongside white women rather than argue with them? It strengthens the cause
Me: I work with white women who recognise when they need to accept that they're not always right. Which you clearly can't do. I want to work with white women but only those who see that my rallies against whiteness aren't personal attacks but a way of making ppl interrogate the ways that they perpetuate (often unknowingly) unfair systems of racial disparity
White girl: Please explain to me why you think that I can't do that? I am trying to understand your point but all your doing is telling me that I'm not as oppressed as you are, does that make my opinion less valuable than yours? In which case, which one of us is now the oppressor
Me: It makes your opinion less valuable on the subject of black feminism. Yes.And I'm not oppressing you by saying that. There is no system of oppression behind my words working to make you be less employable, more likely to go to prison, more likely to be sexually assaulted etcetera etcetera. Oppression isn't a word to be thrown around lightly
White girl: Oppression is oppression. Once you start claiming that one form of oppression is more important than another, you have lost the cause. Being raped as a white girl is the same as being raped as a black girl. Rape is rape regardless of colour, creed and gender. Likewise, how can you say that being catcalled on the street is any less oppressive than racial discrimination?I am genuinely interested in your opinions though but would like to have a proper discussion in debate scenario.


(via hyggehaven)


(via hyggehaven)


anxious-alarmist:

fun date idea: we both cancel 

true love!

(via diamondfordisease)


awww I found out today that the person who is our donor told some of their extended family about the bb, incl an 80 yr old aunt. She was happy and excited and knit the baby a sweater which is being sent home from europe amongst other euro baby things for us.

So cool to think of how many people and families are experiencing even a tiny bit of joy and excitement because of this little person we made together. yay queer baby making!

(For ppl who know who I’m referring to, that’s cool - we’re just asking for others to exercise some discretion and respect a bit of privacy and anonymity in public discussions so we can give this child a chance learn and shape their own story as time unfolds)…